Thats so not my job!

 

Who Should Teach Children to Regulate Their Emotions?

In today’s educational landscape, the emphasis on social-emotional learning (SEL) has grown significantly. While there's undeniable value in helping students develop emotional intelligence, some parents are beginning to question whether the classroom is the right place for this instruction. After all, time spent teaching emotional regulation is time taken away from core subjects like math, science, and reading. So, if teachers aren't responsible for this aspect of a child’s development, who is? The answer is clear: emotional regulation is a skill that should be primarily taught at home—preferably somewhere between breakfast meltdowns and bedtime negotiations.

Why Emotional Regulation Starts at Home

Let’s face it: Parents are a child’s first and most influential teachers. From the earliest days of life, children look to their parents for cues on how to react to the world around them. And no, “throwing yourself on the floor because the Wi-Fi is slow” is not a life skill—though it does qualify you for a reality TV show. When parents model healthy emotional responses, children learn to manage their own emotions more effectively.

And here’s the kicker: Teaching emotional regulation at home prepares kids for adulthood. In high-functioning workplaces, nobody has time to hold your hand because you “just can’t even” before your second cup of coffee. Employers expect you to navigate stress and conflict without flipping tables. So, unless your child plans to become a professional toddler, it's essential to teach these skills early.

What Teaching Emotional Regulation Looks Like at Home

1. Modeling Calm and Control:
   Children learn emotional regulation by observing how their parents handle frustration. So the next time you step on a LEGO in the middle of the night, try channeling your inner Zen master instead of inventing new words that would make a sailor blush. This is not easy. 

2. Setting Clear Expectations and Boundaries:
   Just as workplaces have rules—like “Don’t microwave fish in the breakroom”—homes need guidelines for respectful behavior. Outbursts and eye-roll marathons shouldn’t be tolerated unless they come with an Academy Award. It doesnt matter what you set however if you wont abide by it. Being consistant take work up front but become easier over time. I am hirable by the hour here if you need some advice. 

3. Teaching Problem-Solving Skills:
   Life is full of frustrating moments: tangled headphones, long lines, and that one sock that always disappears in the laundry. Parents can help kids learn to cope by teaching them to pause, breathe, and tackle problems one step at a time—because throwing your Chromebook across the room rarely solves algebra. W need to allow kids to figure it out a little bit longer. There is magic in the struggle.

4. Encouraging Emotional Vocabulary:
   Kids need words to express their emotions—beyond the classic “Ugh!” and “You just don’t get it!” Parents can help by teaching phrases like, “I feel frustrated because…” or “I’m upset because…” Pro tip: Using “I feel frustrated because…” when dealing with slow internet might save your laptop from an untimely demise. Give them an appropriate amount of time with that feeling and then move on. 

5. Allowing Natural Consequences:
   Sometimes, the best life lessons happen naturally. If a child refuses to share, they may discover their friends mysteriously disappear at recess. If they procrastinate on homework, they experience the joy of explaining that decision to their teacher. Natural consequences are life’s way of saying, “See? Told you so.” You do not need to follow up nature's I told you so with the real one. 

Partnering With Schools, Not Relying on Them

In the end, teaching emotional regulation at home frees teachers to focus on academics while still supporting a positive classroom environment. Plus, it ensures that when your child grows up and faces a stressful deadline at work, they’re more likely to respond with grace—and less likely to end up crying in the supply closet.