Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Blade Wielding Lives Matter

WARNING!!! I have no idea how many obscenities will be thrown around in this post. I am a good gal but came from a down-home-say-it-how-you-like-up-bringing...

My good ol' buddy Tyler Bridges was so great to point out to me today some of the great pieces of legislation that came of of this session while I was so focused on the education bills. I cannot be in all subjects at all times, so thank you Tyler. Thanks for highlighting some of the real gems.

Ok, what? What the hell is this horse hocks? Daggers? Sword canes? Who the hell is so worried about this and petitioning and lobbying about the need of this that it was necessary to pass this bill this year? I am kind of serious here. Please if you are one of these people step out. Let me in on what I am missing and why it is so imperative that 2016 was the year this needed amended?

Let me tell you who is stoked about this newly amended law. My 9 year old daughter Tatum who does have a dagger. She is so into the FAIRY TAIL WORLD of C.S. Lewis and the Chronicles of Narnia that she asked for and received a dagger for her birthday. Just like little fictional character LUCY PEVENSIE.

(Yes, the caps are on purpose because I am literally yelling this as I am writing it.)

We are in the midst of a year where a budget came at the final hour, and was so f***ing short that we cannot get a vendor to write a textbook to our newly adopted standards that THEY (legislators) VOTED INTO PLACE!!! Are you kidding me? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Senator 1: "Oh man, my daughter is total into Narnia we need to amend this bill so she can legally carry this dagger."

Senator 2: "Well, my 80 yr old father has this bad ass sword cane that it would be totally dope if he could carry that around. That way if he happened to stab someone with it while protecting himself from muggers...he wouldn't get ticketed for carrying it...his sword cane"

Senator 1: Well, I am sick of trying to figure out this budget thing for a can wait...lets draft up an amendment to some archaic ass law that allows for these things to happen...wanna?!?!"

I have to assume that this is the way it went down because who the F*** else gives a S***?

Please I implore you to leave a comment if I am wrong. If I should shut the hell up because blade wielding lives matter. If...I don't know who else might fight me on this one. But if it is you...leave a comment.

If you also could care the heck less about the new blades you can legally carry because you are not 80 or 9 years of age, then forward this on to your legislator.